Dear Dad, on your 90th birthday... #letterstoheaven

 

Dear Dad,

Today is your 90^th birthday. And it’s still weird not having you here.

I know we’d celebrating you, a family birthday party with much joy and laughter.

But you’re in the heavenly places now. Free from the weakness that you lived with especially the last year of your life, and having to “shield” indoors mostly.

    You were the biggest role model to me here on Earth. Humble and quiet, yet so much depth to your spirit, your craftmanship marvellous, your gentleman-nature like no other, and your gentle understanding, ministering not only to mine (your daughter), but to many a soul. Every morning and night, kneeling at your bed, praying for us all, naming each family member by name and bringing them before His heavenly throne. And now you get to be close to that throne, in the heavenly place and “das freut mich für dich.”

    It was Easter, not long before you passed away, and you and mum had sent me this Easter card which had the following bible verse on the front: Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never die…” John 11:25-26.

And so, even after dying, you live, because the resurrection power ran through your veins. It’s hard for me to comprehend heaven completely… like, how often to you have access to windows which see out down to the Earth? How often do you see the brokenness of what goes on her down below, or do you mostly shield from that in the most perfect, glorious and joyous place? Do you guys still pray for us, like Jesus and the saints do in Revelation? I should probably read over all of those verses again.

Thank you for being such a man of faith, and loving, caring and guiding us in the word. Thank you for your prayers. You are a godly man.

    Dad, this last July to July is a big year for me, getting married, 2 weddings… it’s weird to not have you here. But I do know you’re here in spirit. Somehow, I do feel God has given you a special window for each of these days, that you’re with us in spirit. John will have the honour of walking me down the aisle, I know you’d be so proud. And we will have moments where we think on you, but hopefully not cry too much- because who knows how well a waterproof mascara might hold?! My heart and soul can process some of the grief in between, so that on the day, the heaviness is laid aside, and a treasured, warm memory sort of thought resides instead. Knowing you’d be so proud, and you’re still with us somehow in that moment. “Don’t get upset love” I remember you telling me one day on the phone as I broke down in tears. And then I got a little mad “Dad, it’s good for me to cry, to get it out!” and the quietness as you let me cry and probably prayed. Ah, how I wish you were here with me to give you another hug, or link you, or gently hold your hand. But one day, we will meet again…

Thank you for taking my hand at my 21^st birthday party and helping me dance around the room. I remember feeling quite embarrassed as my friends set me up, and had me have “a first dance”

- “Get your dad!!”

I heard my friends shout from one corner of the room, so after a while we did… thank you, Dad. I’ve never felt so comfortable being led around the room with you in front of 150 people. I never went to dance school- but you did! Back in your day, you went out dancing- proper dancing, and you trained, and won medals for ballroom dancing… you knew how to lead me and my feet “einfach” (simply) followed. So I had my Father-Daughter Dance with you that day instead. What a gift! Oh serendipity.

              If you’d like to pray for Philipp and I, for our first dance, you are welcome to! At this point I feel like I’ve got two left feet, but it would be wonderful if we could find some time in our busy lives to practice! I think you’d have liked Philipp and got on well. He would have liked to have met you. But I guess we’ve got a whole eternity for that. And I’m thankful for the hope.

              So enjoy your happy heavenly 90^th birthday dad. We love you and miss you loads.

Until we meet again,

Your little girl x